Confusion;

Idk whats bothering me so much now.
We've met, talk things out but i still have the feelings that its not over yet.
I was murdered badly from a friend i called bestfriend.
Not literally murdered.
Its just too heartbreaking for me.
I just couldnt accept it.
The way she acted & respond to me.
The way she stood up for what she thought was right.
The way she ignored the thing that i wanted to say.
The way how important it is to kill me than saving this friendship.
The way you said stuff that i nvr even thought you would said.
The way it was put up that everything are my fault whereby i feel so useless of myself.
I just don't know where i stand now with anyone.
What should i do?
Where should i go?
What's best for us?
It was putted in a way that you don't give a shit at all.

Idk, its contridicting. Idk whether its all an act or it was true.
Idk which one shld i look at.
It went beyond my expectation, that hurts me badly.
For the third times it happened, is it rilly my fate to face this kin of thing?

Idw to meet anym people.
Im just sick & tired of dramas.
Its better to stay lonely & happy rather than be with alot of friend & suffer.